Dead on Kauai: Ghosted, Deplatformed, Shadow-Banned, Burned and Not Poisoned Yet

Not that I am complaining nor would or could ever be suicidal, but the way I see it, my contract with existence was up awhile ago now. For awhile I counted them as "Super bonus days" for they seemed just that, a limited number of extra days. Now I have lost count. Given that I seem to be stuck here for awhile, I figure why not try to achieve the most possible in the shortest time, or try to advance humanity or knowledge the fastest ways possible with regard to little else except morality and that time is always limited. So other than staying true to what you believe in and who or what you think you are, there is little to hold you back except always trying to hold on. I no longer see holding on as an option. I can go forward or not at all. While existing, not at all is not my choice (or up to me), therefore if I must go forward, my choice is batten down the hatches, full steam ahead, let's see what she's got.

 Notes 1

 December 2003 - Lithuania 

What is designed to take me down I make my own knowing to run or avoid it is to be beaten by it. To know it, to accept its place in the scheme of things, yet remain resolute, that is more of a victory, whatever the cost, than living even much much longer but in fear avoiding what is sent your way that you run from every moment you choose not to confront it. You are at least as strong as whatever you choose to stand up to, and stronger than whatever cannot make you afraid.

 Notes 2

 December 2004 - Estonia 

        My most significant accomplishment lately is breathing. Everybody gets credit for that one, if they are alive, because it is hard not to be alive if you can't do that. However, depending on what came before that, it can be one a hell of an accomplishment.

        I came to Kauai, if not to die, then in case I die. One last grand adventure before doing what little I thought I can do to try for a second time to short circuit a War with Iran. I am not especially fond of Iran, Iranians, or their current government. I am also not particularly against them either.

        The reason breathing is an accomplish for me is that, if Edward Snowden's adventure was real, which some parts I believe and some I find hard to believe, is that he would be the only other person in the media that I have heard of besides myself who probably came within one phone call of being killed by the US government. Sure the US government kills lots of people, and even uses drones on US citizens, not because they could not find them to arrest them, but because they could not try them in a court. What those killed did allegedly may not have been good, but for one reason or another, it was not against the law, or they feared a trial might expose too many things they did not wish to talk about.

       So a quick recap of the last 16 years of my reality which I have already discussed at length in my previous post, War with Iran, How Bush Ignited My Political Asylum, Missing Notes, and Key to How to Read RCP2, still up (for now): I had a sort-of software company which had been featured in national magazines and well reviewed programs on all major services, which was sort-of profitable. At least if I got sick for a day, or a week, or even a month, I would not become homeless, and that allowed me to write and study politics and even go to University and graduate school for politics.

        This sort-of comfortable life, way less comfortable than Snowden's, (but hey, I got to live in Hawaii much longer and may die here, even possibly sooner rather than later) was brought crashing down to the ground in a horrible set of circumstances NOT EVEN INSTIGATED BY ME! I highlighted that last part because one would think that it would have probably been about by something I had done given my life, but no, I got screwed over because of something France had done which was good, and something the President of the United States did on live-tv which was not-so-good.

When asked during the political asylum process, what caused you try to get asylum, I stated a line I literally waited years to say, "PUNISH FRANCE, IGNORE GERMANY, FORGIVE RUSSIA." That was the name of Bush's policy in how to deal with countries that opposed the Iraq war, supposedly attributed to his National Security Advisor, Condoleezza Rice. ..

And then Bush made a speech. 'THE SPEECH' to me. Because France decided to abstain from joining in the War on Iraq, 2003 version 2.0, he said on national television, that people should boycott French goods. The era of "Freedom Fries" began and my software company was immediately torpedoed. ..

So it was on then. After waiting more than 2 years, going to University, getting smart again after the accident, I finally was able to throw myself into the maelstrom I envisioned as soon as Bush made his boycott France speech. Then someone at AOL quickly replaced my place in recommended programs with a picture of a *ucking mime, and two weeks later I had no orders, no more software company to speak of and a shitload of debt. But I did see a light, glimmering half a world and months a way, a way to convert. ..

my income fell to zero and stayed that way, almost every day. Orders were off by 99%. I went to the list of recommended programs and they were the same as it they were previously except my program was missing. The files were .MIM files or .MIME, and my program tailored to AOL users for these files was MIM Decode Gold. When I say my program was missing I do not mean in its place was the #3 program, and all others moved up. #3 was still #3, #4 was #4, etc. My slot was filled with a photograph of a French Mime.

War with Iran, How Bush Ignited My Political Asylum, Missing Notes, and Key to How to Read RCP2
December 25th, 2019

        I like to think I am a person of considerable skills and abilities. I tend to make my life harder than most because I am aware that as a living organism, the easier you make life for yourself, though it may then seem all oh-so pleasant, you are really making yourself fat and stupid. I left out lazy because I actually like to be lazy. It gets you in less trouble and can kind of be an accomplishment like meditation when you do nothing in a way that is socially acceptable. And when done right it can even be considered a spiritual achievement. Who says religions and philosophies don't have attractive bullshit to sell? Learn to do absolutely nothing the right and morally superior way rather than just being a NEET.

        But this curve thrown at me came from the outside, or at least outside of my court. "Hey, keep your ball in your own court, don't *uck with the game I am trying to play over here!" But you can't do that when the person who threw the ball at/to you was the President of the United States or at least one of his dipshit advisors who thought that was a good and sound policy to make. Victoria Nuland said it better, "*uck the EU!" Condoleezza Rice said it first "*uck France!" (And if this policy has collateral damage taking out a few Franco-Americans, who cares?)

        Being a person who likes to rise to challenges, because I don't like becoming fat and stupid like rich people so long as I can still be lazy from time to time, I didn't mind so much losing my income, but this challenge seemed really BIG. Can't work enough to get out of the debt I am in now, but hey, I know International Law enough to know, that kind of circumstance meant obviously an announced policy of inducing a wave of discrimination of people based on their ethnicity or perceived nationality. I would normally here post some extremely hateful things from comedians and politicians that saturated the airwaves after that, but there is just too much to pick from. "Cheese eating surrender monkeys." Anyone who was famous seemed to want to get a least a few kicks in.

        But France had a whole country of people in the same boat, and they all happened to be more French than me. Or at least more legally French than me, in regards that they were the citizens and the actual intended target of all this animosity simply because their government decided to sit out an illegal and stupid mistake of a war in which they were not attacked, nor likely to be, but then neither were we.

        So this gave me a platform which the French Government also had, to speak against this senseless and stupid mistake of a war which was too God-awful to even begin to think I could do it justice at this point talking about it briefly here. They were doing a shitty job talking about how stupid it was, but then they were suddenly on the defensive because the US just declared economic war on them through boycotts, potentially affecting, or intending on producing hardship to everyone in their entire country!

        My problems may have been in a similar vein for similarly wrong and stupid reasons, but obviously their problems were greater. But then their capacity to respond to those challenges was greater, they were just doing a poor job at it, and were not particularly responsive to being told how to a better job of it. They were just so, so, damn French!

 France, where I should have been allowed to apply and even should have been allowed to be transferred to under the Dublin Convention (France was the first EU country I entered) wisely wanted no part of it, especially since under their law they probably would have had to grant it, or at the very least have given me a hearing. More friction with the US or being set up for embarrassment from the US they did not want and blocked it.

          It is tempting to say being French got in his way. French people are arrogant, smart but arrogant, and think they know everything. I know the type, being French, all the good and bad that comes with it. But such generalizations, prejudices, had a part in my being there, and I try not to think that all the French are dicks, just unfortunately the ones I usually have to deal with and this proved to be no exception.

The Radioactive Cereal Principle - Part 2
December 7th, 2005

       So this was my one stupid chance to speak up about the war and try to argue some sense to the French because though they would shut me down if I tried to speak against, torture, rendition for the purpose of torture, the illegality of it (which their government actually agreed with), I would get further there with them potentially than trying to speak as strongly against such things effectively from within the United States. I could possibly get further along before being shut down than in the US, plus I could get it legally on record, even if those records would be buried forever.

       In the beginning, I did not think that it would necessarily work, nor that I would ever get that far, but it was something that appeared on the horizon, a small potential flower in a mountain of shitty things coming my way, I decided to more or less move in that direction.

       Since I knew it probably would not work out in a good way, while still moving in that direction I took a lot of side trips, partially because I was hit by a car a few months before getting to France and was no longer really up for all that pressure/confrontation with, well everything bad going on, but mostly from one government in particular.

Advancing on a collision course with possibly the most powerful and corrupt administration ever, with what its Senators called the President's nearly unlimited means at his disposal to manufacture reality as he sees fit, hold any US citizen "protected" by the Constitution or any foreigner in prison without trial or even charges indefinitely for life on his say so alone, able to intimidate any press to recant any story no matter how factual (true) under guise of "national security" (Newsweek/Rice) and against this unrestrained mass-production machine of limitless lies capable of being tailored instantly to fit any case of anything I might say, all I have to cling to is truth even I can be made to recant, and even be made to cease to believe, with the sole assurance that once spoken and recorded, if humanity survives, someone someday must eventually be able to verify that it was true.

Notes Part 4
December 2005

        So I decided since I was in Europe, take a break for awhile, go to college, keep learning about the source of what the hell was going on around me, and try to get better at predicting what would happen next if ever actually doing anything that extreme.

        But by actually not doing any of that, which was the reason I was in Europe in the first place, and rethinking over and over how to do it or go about it, I came up with an even more extreme idea, that I thought would be more effective if time suddenly became sorter. If I had only one shot left, it would have to be beyond what I had been considering because everything I had been considering would not have been enough.

      But then when I wrote the words "RC Principle" in my notes a year before I wrote the real thing, I saw truly something very scary ahead. If I can't talk about what is illegally going on now, I can instead talk about what was done in the past, sort of admitted to, completely inexcusable and illegal beyond scale or measure, and then state the obvious. That what is going on now (2003-2005) goes beyond even these things.

War with Iran, How Bush Ignited My Political Asylum, Missing Notes, and Key to How to Read RCP2
December 25th, 2019

        And what was the most shocking illegal thing I could think of that the United States had been caught doing and later had to admit to? Doing Nazi-like experiments on people which put them at risk for death, and often killed them. But actually, there are quite of lot of examples of that. But one stood out more than the others, giving mentally-retarded/challenged/special children lethal doses of radiation in their cereal to determine how much it would take to kill them. And of course they all died, but the data sought was how much was needed and how long would it take before they died. And the added bonus any true Nazi-types could appreciate, we would be getting rid of dead weight, defective people in the process. A two-fer.

       While researching that I came across another shocking story which seemed to relate to stories in the 1970's regarding the CIA getting caught running a child prostitution ring, not just in the Capital D.C. area, but the investigation turned up links to multiple cities. Though the ages of the children involved were not mentioned, it sound like something way more serious than anything Jeffrey Epstein was accused of, but the CIA eventually had to own it and the excuse was that it was needed to get influence with certain powerful  individuals from certain strategic countries. A bowl of fruit and some jewels just weren't enough for some people.

        After the Epstein thing became public, you would think that would have come back into the news. But then the reason that quickly disappeared was most likely the reason it stayed disappeared. At ConsortiumNews.com, they had a congressional staffer who wrote a story about how newspaper clippings, currently in the news, were clipped and marked "Classified." These were literally in the public domain, out there, yet when quoted separately and placed with others, also in the public domain, together in a report, were now classified information. As much as people have tut-tuted about "over-classification problems" after Hillary Clinton, John Brennan, head of the CIA, got caught sharing emails with classified information over unsecured servers, nothing said since then had the cat-by-tail as much as that article on ConsortiumNews.com. Anything you read today in the paper can become made classified and if you hold on to it, you now have illegal information.

        Ron Unz has a web site called Unz.com. He also is an archivist of previous media. He noticed that a controversial issue of a magazine he was a part of the staff, was not included in the digitization materials he was given to archive. The articles about the CIA getting caught being implicated in child prostitution never made it to the digital versions either. Once I knew how much history is literally being rewritten by omission with electronic media, and possibly even before it got to being published on microfilm, it is really illuminating to how what is shown to the public is being narrowed to a much ever smaller stream. Actual hard copies of Time Magazine, Newsweek, and others from the Church Commission Era would be a treasure trove of classified info today. People who stockpiled them like National Geographic hoarders are like the Monasteries in Ireland who kept alive knowledge of the Roman Empire when previous "politically incorrect" history was being permanently erased in the Middle Ages.

        I didn't really think that just Radioactive Cereal wasn't bad enough, and I don't know how recovered memory controversy came up when searching about that, but it wasn't the crimes of either of those I was meaning to write about and did, it was the coverups of them which was interesting enough to write about. Non-profit "debunking" organizations sprang up to refute and discredit anyone who came forward. One of the reports about an organization formed to "debunk" the people who claimed they were sexually abused by powerful people in orphanages and experimented on, the reporter noted it immediately had chapters in all states and in other countries, and that is not really how such organizations normally grow. The names of who started these organizations were people linked to behavioral research. I am not saying that is incriminating but kind of a coincidence that people who would normally be suspected of involvement of such things were the extremely well-funded people chosen to "debunk" the allegations of what people were remembering.

        So if just talking about the current things going on, illegally, much of it admitted to later was not enough, my idea was "bundling" it as I said in the previous post. Talk about the worst in the past that I know was public information, and mention the unproven "rumors" about Torture and the use of Chemical Weapons in battlefield situations (the US is not party to the relevant treaty banning their use), both later admitted to but not at the time, and I thought maybe THAT would get through, maybe THAT would be enough, to get a reaction, and maybe it would "sink in" that such shit was going on beyond ANYTHING that ANYONE could talk about safely. Things were spinning out of control which no one can admit to anything about what's being done and literally ANYTHING now could be covered up.

          Even while fostering an anything goes policy within the CIA, the administration has shown itself willing to try to force reports to be doctored to its political objectives, ignored anything they do not wish to hear, been arrested for divulging state secrets to score political points, and create fall guys (to be well-rewarded later) to tell them the lies they want to hear to justify wars of aggression and profiteering. Anyone who has studied the fall of the USSR like I have can tell you, it was the same atmosphere of invulnerability and willingness to ignore legitimate intelligence over what it only wished to hear and be told which caused it to collapse.

The Radioactive Cereal Principle
November 13th, 2005

        As I said 2 years later, though the Radioactive Cereal Principle paper I wrote was among the best things I ever wrote, it wasn't something that would ever see general acknowledgment. I would either be killed I thought, or ghosted. To be fair, I kept it up online at POLSCI.COM almost every day since it was written. Though I have no idea if the site is visible to others, from accessing it in different places, it seems like it is still up. If no one else in the world has ever read it, at least I know it was given as an official document in a governmental situation, a political asylum hearing in Sweden. That no one else in the world has to my knowledge ever quoted, mentioned, or even acknowledged it at least to me, that's not on me. As I said, my job was simply to deliver the message. It is not my problem or concern if no one else in the world cares what was in it.

        The second RCP paper as I mentioned in the last post, was written in a way (though factual) that to someone who did not know what I was writing was true, they would not have believed any of it. I was not as damaged from the accident as I may had seemed to people during those previous 2 years in Europe.

        Was I more wide-eyed amazed at everything around me than almost anyone and full of exuberance at just being alive another day, every day? Yes, absolutely. I was aware that this may have made me look "touched", a like simpleton, and while I did not necessarily want to use this so much as to mislead people, I saw that that was often people's opinion of me and saw no reason to try to change that opinion.

        So technically I was not "playing dumb" but for what I was there to do, people having such opinions of me was in my favor. Inside, I just wished they had some of that exuberance for just being alive themselves. I was lucky just to have been alive through it all, and even got to live many days after.

        So obviously these things I put in RCP that I felt needed mentioning, were among the most dangerous things to talk about and still are. People may not think much when I try to describe to others how I can know about some things before they happen, or scoff that some people can be very good at knowing what other people are thinking.

        The same debunkers or same type or profession, gets people to think its all just "tricks" and be amazed at such "tricks" but that means anyone doing such is a "trickster". People in general have such a ridiculous false view of reality, it is not likely to be taken down by me, so I have been lucky to have been able to say many truths and let it be "spun" away and buried because at least until today, I can say I have not been buried yet.

        The facts are, and least it has not been refuted yet, I did all of these things, wrote all of these things and the things I wrote about which supposedly happened to other people, were public record. I wrote about the real bad things done, and watched the media and even "alternative journalists", supposed Truth-Tellers to power, ignore talking about the worst things done, and substitute "acceptable" crimes that they can talk about and still get paid, not get killed, and still have life. One can probably not included Julian Assange in that category because, though he didn't get killed, he doesn't have much of a life at the moment.

        Though I wrote a lot about the need for similar truths to come out, that was the whole point of TruthRevival.orgfrom its first post, imploring that people come forward, maybe not about these kind of things which talking about will destroy your life, but as least try to keep the truth alive somehow because I certainly have, but most likely won't be able to any longer. And for the record, I never encouraged anyone to break the law to expose secrets. Technically, though I did talk about somethings that the government didn't want mentioned that were going on, I only used what was in the public domain already. I didn't talk about illegal surveillance until it was made public just days after what I wrote at the end of 2005.

        So even if you don't believe about such things, it is kind of telling that I was able to write about the worst things the US ever did, which the government generally does not like to have anyone mention and prefer everyone remain too scared to mention them to this day to even bring any of it up, so terrified are they of the truth, and yet I was never asked a single question about it by anyone. Not debriefed on my actions upon return, (not that I was in the government), not even asked anything about it, ever. Which obviously was nicer that being locked in a room for long periods of time and questioned incessantly about things I would rather had not talked about. Another plus.

        For awhile that could have just been put off, but I know I made it quite obvious I was looking to be in the presence of someone, almost anyone, who knew the answers to things I was trying to find out about. Chances are very high without even them saying anything, in such a situation, I would have learned way more. But it never happened and the return to the US was mostly uneventful.

        The problem was potentially being made an example of. Obviously even if what you did or do is somewhat excusable, everything that is not punished, the government is fearful of because others might feel brave or emboldened by it. We try to keep many countries citizens impoverished in Central and South America because of the fear if people in one or two countries such as Venezuela or Bolivia, or previously Brazil, begin to get out from under foot, it sets a bad omen to happen in other places as well. But I cannot be the bad example without being an example at all.

        Though I have stated many times, I don't agree with everything Snowden did, but it was helpful that he provided what some consider proof that the "spying on everyone all the time" which was known about, but dismissed, was really going on. But having that knowledge make a difference is another thing. Eventually it just means proof that no one is really bothered by it and it just becomes another accepted part of life.

         What I did like was his attitude that, its over, I'm done now. I just wanted people to know this, and now you do, and I am going to just live my life now. Nice narrative, but that is not what he is doing, though it worked out really well for him financially. He continues to give talks, write books, and if it really bothered the government seriously, none of that would be happening. Having studied political asylum, having been in that situation, I understand what it means politically to both countries involved, I know there is more to that than what is being told. But that is not important now, just a general observation.

        For my part, after delivering my "message" to the powers-that-be in the form of the political asylum process, I was allowed back to Hawaii and given a job with the County of Maui for 9 years as a clerk. That is where I would still be now if they did not have their own version of "bundling".

        As I said in regards to the political asylum being put off until trying to find the right time, delaying it until it "felt right" to do, instead I just ran out of time and what I did was the best that I could do with the little time I had left, the story of my life then, now, and everyday since.

        If I knew I was going to be fired and I knew how much time I had left I would have written something very much like this in response to that shortening of time. It would not have come out exactly like this, and like the Radioactive Cereal Principle, there would be no guarantee once starting writing it I would be able to live long enough to finish and literally could be stopped at any point, even in mid-sentence. And even if I got through all that, and put it out on the internet, anyone who might have given a damn, probably would never get to see it anyhow.

        Rather than writing me up normally with complaints which I could respond to individually, they used a loophole that I was not aware of previous to that day in mid-June 2016. Like my "bundling" US heinous crimes together in one paper (which was emailed to Senator Edward Kennedy, Senator John McCain (who spoke out against torture, and some newspapers), they "bundled" complaints which were easy to have addressed individually, into a negative job performance review. In the 9 years I worked there I only had 3 or four of these.

        Once was when someone was pressured to give me a bad performance report and "accidentally" had numbers that did not warrant being written up (she did her best to look surprised (or was surprised) when I did the math and noted it was not a negative report. "I guess you're good then.") and another was when others knew that was going to a happen after they were forced out of their jobs, and gave me a positive one to gain me another 6 months or year until the higher ups could again orchestrate another negative one.

         Both of the instances they quoted to me in their new negative performance report were instances where people were upset by my NOT bending the rules in their favor and NOT giving them preferential treatment.

        Its not that I would not like to have helped people out and ignored the legal codes in their favor sometimes, but you can't do that when you know doing so would lead you to get fired because they were looking for those mistakes. So I had to follow the rules explicitly which led to the complaints mentioned.

        If these were normal write ups, 1st verbal warning, 1st written warning, 2nd warning, etc. I could have easily proven that they were baseless. But by bundling them (and they were really trying to get something on me for years before this), they said it was not the incidents themselves but a pattern of impolite behavior that was the issue. So even if their examples themselves used to justify that conclusion were wrong, it did not mean their conclusion was wrong. That circular thinking I noted when in "Intelligence" community was a big part of what I had gone on about, that idea that the conclusions do not have be be based on or arise from the facts or examples. The proofs or examples cited were like garnish, and consider less important or even irrelevant. Like the word "The".

        Yes, not granting people favors explicitly against the regulations, and even against the law and county code, can be considered being impolite. When they want that to be so. Not only was this an odd performance review to get based on their rare and infrequent happening, but it was attended by the Director, the Assistant Director, and Corporate Counsel, the lawyer division of the county. I not able to go to the Union about it, nor have or get representation. Given the all-star cast in the room for what was billed as a typical review and given 3 months to improve my politeness, it was pretty clear they were looking for any kind of negative reaction to simply use that instead of the baseless complaints.

        This was 2 weeks before I was supposed to be getting a $1500 bonus. That was my new endgame target, just make it to July 1st and then resign. So I said I would work on improving, and called in sick knowing that if I was not present, I could not be perceived as being upset about the performance report. I looked up the code and saying or doing anything perceived as a negative response to being written up was a fireable offense. They had me dead to rights. I could not challenge the false allegations with the union, and any displeasure in my perceived demeanor meant being fired immediately.

        As I said, I was just looking to make it to July 1st to get the bonus, but the problem was I was a few days short of sick leave to make it that far. I called in sick every morning as required but I knew the first day I went back I would be fired. On my last day of sick leave I tried to make a deal.

        I asked the Chief (the highest non-political employee, the political people were the ones who cooked it up) whose approval I would need for granting me time off, or leave without pay, or vacation in lieu of sick leave, to allow me use of a few vacation days or authorize leave without pay for a few days, simply to get me over the July 1st deadline so I would qualify for my bonus and then I would quit or resign. He said he'd think it over, most probably to run it by the director who was his boss, and any leave without pay or use of my vacation time was not to be allowed.

        The first day I returned with a doctor's note, I was fired by the end of the day. The reason given was even though I called in sick every day, and only had a few days which were not covered by sick leave, there was something in the contract about being gone for a long time if someone just deserts their job for weeks and doesn't call in or let them know whats going on. After an extended period of time, which this didn't qualify for anyway, the County could assume, since you didn't let them know if you were coming back or not, you could be then fired immediately.

        So it was a bogus firing which was backtracked immediately after I left (they said I was a good employee so I could get unemployment, basically admitting to being fired without cause) based on a bogus complaint of being written up for NOT showing preferences in situations which if I had, it would have been a more legitimate complaint, though not a fire-able offense. And I'm just like, wow, they went to all that trouble just to fire me instead of letting me use my months of vacation cover a few days absence so I could resign the same day.

        Its not like it was a high paying job. The people were pleasant, the vacation, sick leave, and holidays were better than what most people in the US have (but normal in other countries) but it was very hard to live on, though eventually I had a good apartment and nice car, and used that position to try to get better jobs in the County and to run for State Senate.

        But mostly I did it because it was given for me to do, and I would do it until I was told I didn't have to do it anymore. My opinion was I tried to get political asylum against the United States threatening to expose their absolute most evil crimes, and actually did that a little bit just to show I wasn't bluffing, and all I got in return was a low-paying civil service job in Hawaii to show for it. Kind like a tee-shirt saying but too many words for a tee-shirt. Once fired it was like, ok, I don't have to do that anymore.

        So I was going to come to Kauai and write this back then because that was pretty much the end of the road. Getting fired from a job commonly perceived at being an unfire-able job, was not helpful toward getting another job, and since I did it for 9 years, and before than the only significant work experience I had was for my own software company, it was not easy to get another job on Maui after that.

        All I had when I was going to come and write this in 2017 was $2,000. I figured that wasn't enough money and it was really not the end of the road yet. I instead went to Seattle for 2 years. I figured I misjudged how much time I had to work with when President Trump fired Secretary of State Rex Tillerson and hired John Bolton as his National Security Advisor. Well, its already too late I thought. But somehow the world survived even that (thus far).

        So this time around in 2019, I had $5,000 ready to do the same thing 2 years later, then being now. I would try to find a job, but I did not think necessarily I would be able to get one. If you are really skeptical of why I had an idea that that wouldn't happen, please refer to my entire post written December 25, 2019. It would also solve any question you might have along the lines of "If you knew there was a good chance you would not be able to find a job, why would you go and do that anyway?"

        The same question could also apply to doing the political asylum, why do all of that knowing it would probably not work out and you would be screwed in a foreign country with no money and no help? Because its interesting, its fun to see which one actually will happen, and if its done right it will draw attention to things which prefer to remain hidden.

        It became obvious to me and it should be to anyone, after getting several jobs here and then suddenly not being given any hours, without even being sold I would not be getting hours, that I am not going to be allowed to work here or be here. The way it is "supposed to go" is that I become homeless and then, being just a homeless person, probably ofted sleeping in a tent if I am luck enough to have a tent to die in.

        Any time I talked to people at places willing to me, even desperate to get help, at some point later suddenly didn't want to talk with me. I got hired for 3 jobs, two stalled about putting me on schedule anywhere from 3 weeks to 5 days while assuring me that I "worked there" before telling me I would not be put on the schedule. Even getting hired and filling out the tax forms is meaningless if you do it repeatedly and the jobs suddenly go away. I don't know who or what was causing that, why people eager to have me start suddenly didn't need me anymore and didn't want to talk about it. One person may have even lost his job or quit because he said he couldn't answer my questions or help me because he didn't work there anymore.

        I didn't expect things to be this dramatically obvious, but I knew such an outcome was possible. It made it harder to look for work knowing half the time I was "about to be put on the schedule" which never ended up happening. I was simply focused more or less on enjoying Kauai, enjoying the people I came into contact with while loo, and thinking about how I would write this.

        I am used to having only a "x" amount of days to work with. When is the end coming and what can I do with the time between? It didn't bother me that much, though no one enjoys having their lives potentially screwed with, because I would have gotten to this point of doing what I am now only a few months later. If I can be somewhat indifferent to have 16 extra bonus years, 6000+ extra days, I am not going to cry about dying a few months earlier which would have been spent working in a kitchen for minimum wage.

        So a few extra things in that paragraph above to unpack. All I wanted after everything I went through was a crappy minimum wage labor job and yet someone or something seems to get me unhired immediately and kept on course for destruction. That is despite having considerable office and computer experience and strong enough to do heavy labor on an island with an acute labor shortage. That is illustrative. 

        So I am able to shine a little light on what is going on around me and to demonstrate after many false "end of the lines", this is really being worked into one. I am not writing for attention, likes, publicity, whatever other things people want to be known for doing, but simply because there is no other choice and writing this now was all I could come up with in response for that possible eventuality when I knew this was at least 50% likely to be the case of how it would go.

        The other part of that which I had not addressed is why, if I am only writing this now because I cannot find a job, would I think I would be doing the same thing in a few months time? Because I really do fear we are heading for War with Iran, and that fear or concern drove most of my writing over the years past and also became a concern or reason for not turning away from the political asylum. These wars are planned for March. It is now the end of the December. Its as good a time as any if this is the way its going to go.

        So you may not be convinced even if you read everything I wrote today and yesterday regarding the political asylum and why writing that or writing this might be considered dangerous. Reminding people that the United Stated conducted lethal experiments murdering mentally retarded children simply for data (and maybe to save cost having to house, feed and take care of them, but mainly for the data), or had been caught pimping children on a large scale basis way larger than any Pizzagate or Epstein "conspiracy theory", or talking about torture, the MKULTRA experiments, and literal ongoing war crimes as they were occurring in real time, you would think also might be a bit dangerous and not really a "thing to do" and that would be true.

        But for me, at certain points in time, it is the only thing to do, and I am well aware of the consequences and have been all along, and I even had that illustrated to me in person in a very memorable way.

        Two years to the date after writing the original Radioactive Cereal Principle I reposted it on Truthrevival.org. As I mentioned, I am proud I kept it up at POLSCI.COM with my meager county wages (not enough for most people to live on) or less, ever since it was written. But at the time that I reposted it 2 years after the day I wrote it while thinking myself relatively in a safe position, the day after that I had a wake up call which I barely survived.

        The day after posting it I was in Starbucks within Borders Bookstore in Kahului writing on my laptop. A middle aged man that I had seen there before sitting across from me, walked past me to my cup by the window, nowhere near where he was sitting, and started to walk off with it. He was not poor by any means. When I asked what he was doing he motioned toward the trash and said he thought I was done with it and was just throwing it away for me.

        Even if you had not gone through all the things I had been through, had written about the things I wrote about if you knew the things I know about, you still would have found something like that a bit off. Because I was fairly certain I never would have let that cup out of my sight, I was not overly concerned, but I am pretty sure I was not dumb enough to continue drinking from it.

        In less than 3 hours I went from being absolutely fine and feeling pretty good, to being as sick as I ever and been in my life and was lucky enough to make it home to collapse into bed. Once I had a strep infection and had not been able to sleep for days. That is the most sick I had ever been in that way. I hit that mark which had taken days before to get to that point before in just a few hours. I called in sick for a day at least, maybe two. By the time I was able enough to go back to work I still had limited movement in my right arm and was unable to hold a pencil in my right hand for days. It took days longer still to be able to write again with my right hand. That, I took as a message that if I was ever going to write about the second Radioactive Cereal Principle paper, which I did yesterday, to make sure I had done everything else I wanted to do before doing so.

        I am not suggesting my government had anything to do with it. I was aware that there was someone else in coffee shop watching him but not appearing to do so, and also seemed to notice me as well. As I said in an earlier post here, in certain circumstances, I notice and remember what everyone around me is doing. Whatever caused that to happen I felt was "allowed" to happen, or at least my welfare was the least important consideration.

        I know I was fired for political reasons, and certainly had reason to believe which people high up might had been responsible, but they too deserve a pass to me from blame. Even if said person or persons didn't like me, just like the person pushed earlier to give me a negative performance review and "failed" to do so, those political actors or appointees could also have been told to do so. Like the coffee, somebody wanted it to happen, and others had no interest in stopping it from happening.

        I am sure if I can notice something odd going on preventing me from getting a job and suddenly people who were quite positive about me and eager to have me work suddenly can't put me on the schedule, I am sure it is being allowed to happen.

        The good thing about being me is I don't have to care about any of that. If I am to be made homeless and killed or killed before being made homeless, I only focus on how much time I have left and what can I do in the meantime.

        I have developed games and have web domains which have value but I would never be able to sell them. Even the broker that was going to list them for sale just backed out at just the right time. I can and am asking for donations here but pretty much no one will likely see them.

        The cost of my relative freedom since then is to be basically a non-person. Occasionally I may get to 20 Twitter users before it goes back down. Posts counts go to zero regularly, not that I necessarily believed their previous numbers anyway. Online anything is a controlled environment from top to bottom.

         In college in a psychology class they mentioned a theory of society, a biological-type theory that every element within a society has a equal place in that society-as-a-larger-organism, whatever their status. Drug dealers, prostitutes, assassins, they all have something different and unique to offer so they are all more or less tolerated.

         I think the same about what I know versus what others are allowed to know. You have fake and occasionally real whistle-blowers, crusading reporters who are often bought as well doing good jobs at selling themselves to the public based on that image, and journalists committed to the truth but always will run that by the powers-that-be because at the end of the day, they just want to live. Shame for giving in when perhaps they shouldn't have, is rewarded with continued existence, and slowly, but surely, that is all that will be left to see and know. Everything else is erased. This will be. I will be. You will be. The choice is what we want to keep alive and do we have the power to do so.

         I will be here to the end of the week and will keep writing on the chance anyone will see it, but all indications are that even if it is possible, it is unlikely.